Categories
birth motherhood

The Greatest Joy Of Our Lives

For days, weeks really I thought I’d wake up at 2:30 in the morning like the other two kids, have my water break, and it would be birth time. But days went by, nights went on, and even with daily contractions, there was no baby.

The week of my third child’s birth I was having consistent contractions that would just… stop. It’s actually called Prodromal Labor, and I had it with all 3 of my pregnancies. I’d be up all night thinking it was the night, and fall asleep. I’d wake up to it all gone.

Categories
birth grief mental health

How my third birth began healing a lifetime’s worth of trauma

I was at my therapist today and she put her feet up on a stool due to a pain she was having and quickly apologized for being unprofessional. I stopped her mid sentence and laughed because (if you’ve read my previous blog posts) she was at my birth, she literally watched a child come out of my vagina. I said “seriously, we have a different relationship than that, you saw me push out a baby…put your feet up”.

Categories
mental health motherhood

Learning to love the body that created my whole world

At 32 years old, I have 3 kids. 3 beautiful, spirited children that I grew and birthed from my womb. The body I had before them and the body I have now are basically of two entirely different people. What once was voluptuous and toned, is now soft and empty…something I somehow wasn’t prepared for. One of my inner mantras is telling myself that what is now empty was once full of nutrients that sustained and grew my 3 children. It is a remarkable thing, what my body did, but it doesn’t take away from the feelings of disappointment with what I was left with.