Categories
birth grief mental health

How my third birth began healing a lifetime’s worth of trauma

I was at my therapist today and she put her feet up on a stool due to a pain she was having and quickly apologized for being unprofessional. I stopped her mid sentence and laughed because (if you’ve read my previous blog posts) she was at my birth, she literally watched a child come out of my vagina. I said “seriously, we have a different relationship than that, you saw me push out a baby…put your feet up”.

Categories
mental health motherhood

Learning to love the body that created my whole world

At 32 years old, I have 3 kids. 3 beautiful, spirited children that I grew and birthed from my womb. The body I had before them and the body I have now are basically of two entirely different people. What once was voluptuous and toned, is now soft and empty…something I somehow wasn’t prepared for. One of my inner mantras is telling myself that what is now empty was once full of nutrients that sustained and grew my 3 children. It is a remarkable thing, what my body did, but it doesn’t take away from the feelings of disappointment with what I was left with.

Categories
birth motherhood

We can’t choose when they come, they come when we need them

It was the day of my grandfathers funeral, my period was late and a piece of me knew I had to take a pregnancy test. I was terrified. We already had 2 kids and to be honest, they weren’t easy. Everything in my world was struggling and the last thing we needed was a new baby. But, the test was positive.